jenjen

Question:

A "Wise King" devised a contest to see who would receive the Princess hand in marriage.

The Princess was put in a 50x50 foot carpeted room. Each of her four suitors were put in one corner of the room with a small box to stand on. The first one to touch the Princess hand would be the winner and become the new King.

The rules of the test were that the contestants could not walk over the carpet, cross the plane of the carpet, or hang from anything; nor could they use anything but their body and wits (i.e. no magic or telepathy, nor any items such as ladders, block and tackles, etc.).

One suitor figured out a way and married the Princess and became the new King.

How did he figure it out?

The Answer Please ...................

Question:

A farmer in California own a beautiful pear tree. He supplies the fruit to a nearby grocery store. The store owner has called the farmer to see how much fruit is available for him to purchase. The farmer knows that the main trunk has 24 branches. Each branch has exactly 12 boughs and each bough has exactly 6 twigs. Since each twig bears one piece of fruit, how many plums will the farmer be able to deliver?

The Answer Please

"Warning"...Bad Virus!

If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes", delete it immediately!
Do not open it. Apparently, this one is pretty nasty.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also
delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.

It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

It will program your phone's autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number.
This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

It will drink all your beer.

It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.

It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings, which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.

If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.

It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.

It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.

It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

These are just a few signs of infection.

PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
LIFE IS UNCERTAIN; EAT YOUR DESSERT FIRST!

"You've Got Mail"

A man was sitting on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that his neighbor, a blonde, went out to her mailbox, opened it, and returned to her home empty handed.

About five minutes later, he saw the blonde again. She checked the mailbox and once again, returned to her house empty handed.

She did this two more times before the man decided to ask her about it. "Why do you keep coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?" the man asked.

"Because," replied the blonde, "my computer keeps telling me that I've got mail!"